Well, I'm no good at this blogging thing, apparently.
An apology for all of you stopping by to read up on what I've given away each day. I haven't given anything...yet. I think I'll probably end up doing one post with 31 items I'm taking to goodwill, or have given to someone!
I kind of wish I would have chosen a different topic, like "31 days to becoming a better person" or "Learn How to Pray in 31 Days" etc.
Is it too late to change? I think not.
Oh well, there is something else I'd like to share with you all. First off, thank you for stopping by, secondly...
My heart is overflowing with gratefulness and I really would like to share that. After almost two years of infertility and one miscarriage, I am 7 weeks pregnant!!!!! Yes, I have nausea all day long. But, all of this is going to be worth it all when I hold this sweet, precious child in my arms.
Here's my story:
I've always been a chicken. Always. I wanted to adopt 4 kids from 4 different countries and raise them. 2 boys - Ethiopia and Cuba, 2 girls - China and India. Before my husband and I got married, I explained to him that I did not want to birth children. Again, chicken. So, advance almost two years and a friend of mine told me she was pregnant and something inside of me snapped. Not in like the "crazy, nutso" sort of way, but in the..."I want a baby of my own" sort of way. So, my husband and I talked about it and decided to go in and have my IUD removed. That was done the Wednesday before Thanksgiving in 2011. I got pregnant right off the bat and January 5th, 2012 got my very first EVER positive pregnancy test! We were excited and elated! And then, January 16th (Monday), I had a doctors appointment. Here is where I should probably tell you that I am TERRIFIED of needles. I have passed out and convulsed on more than one occasion while giving blood. Not pretty. Anyway...we went in and had my blood work done and all that stuff, it went fine, but I started bleeding that night and miscarried. I didn't realize it at the time, I thought I was just having a very heavy period because I hadn't had one in 4 and a half years because of my IUD. We went in on Wednesday for an ultrasound and they couldn't find a baby. So, I had to go back in the next morning and have my blood work done again, to make sure my HCG levels were back down. They were, so I had miscarried. Finally, in July of 2013, I was tired of counting days and tired of wanting babies and thinking about it all the time, tired of hearing my friend gripe about their pregnancies (yes, it happened) which, honestly, is one of the most painful things a person can do to someone struggling to get pregnant. Anyway, my husband and I decided to stop trying. We were going to prevent and focus on getting healthy and start trying again in January of 2014. Then...September 14th, we took all of our kids from church (with other chaperones) to the zoo and to the park. I was running through the tunnels with the kids, laughing and playing, and walked out and got very dizzy. I wasn't out of breath or hot or anything. I immediately felt cold and clammy and nauseous and I knew I was going to pass out. I sat down on a tree stump and yelled for my husband to come quickly. He said my face and lips were white. Unfortunately, I got sick in front of everyone there and we left. It was pretty embarrassing as throwing up in public typically is. I went straight home and took a pregnancy test, negative. Everyone at church the next day was asking if I was pregnant and I kept telling them no. Then, that Thursday, I realized I was late. So, I took another pregnancy test...positive! So, I did what any rational, 29 year old woman would do....I chugged a bottle of water and took another one! Positive!!!! We called our families and the next day I called my doctor. We went out of town that weekend on a church retreat and by the time we came home, everyone there knew. Ooops! I'm definitely one of those wait til 12 weeks type of people...but it just didnt work out that way! So, we decided to go ahead and tell people. I am now 7 weeks and everything has been wonderful so far.
Nausea is a good sign that your HCG levels and estrogen levels are high and hormones are out of whack. Check.
Not eating a lot at one time but being hungry more often. Check.
Looking and feeling like a blimp because you cannot hold your stomach in and it insists on sticking out. Check.
It's great and I feel extremely blessed through all of this and I am so, so excited! Anyone that has struggled with infertility and then gotten pregnant knows there is an undeniable sense of peace and strength and personal growth that is unlike anything I have ever felt. It has been a hard road getting here, but I am grateful because I learned more about my self along the way and it's helped my husband and I learn to lean on God, together. We realized that we have no control of our lives, our futures and everything is exactly in his hands. And, folks, that's the only place I want to be.
God bless you all.
Again, sorry about the 31 days...lack of posting. Maybe I should do a "How not to post in 31 days" I think I'd be the best!!!!
Love,
Candi
